Why Is Divorce Hard on Kids?

Today’s divorce rate and high number of single parent families has increased over 25% since 1990. While usually attributed to young, unmarried couples, what must also be considered is the well-grounded family that dissolves.

In some cases, more therapeutic work can be done in order to support the family, and perhaps prevent a divorce. While the popular theme of “not settling for someone” is usually applied in such situations, focusing just on negative aspects gives the relationship no chance of being repaired. Granted, some negativity cannot and should not be ignored, such as cases of mental and physical abuse, or other family violence. But “perceived” negative talk should be fully expressed in the presence of family counselors, with the participant individuals involved.

Of course, this breaks down to communication. As it is said, communication is the key in any marriage or relationship. While true, some couples simply cannot communicate. They may be unwilling to, or simply unable to. Proper communication, of both positive and negative aspects, is essential to providing the marriage with transparency. Each partner should take stock of what the other is saying, and how it affects them. Often, there are hidden messages, especially in the negative comments, that should be challenged and discussed. Some couples simply do not have the experience, or will, to accomplish this. For them, they should use a counselor or family therapist to facilitate the communications process.

Communication is of little matter if the individuals are either uninterested to solve problems, or just do not care for each other. It is too broad a comment to simply say that people are getting divorces at such an alarming rate; they must not be trying. The honesty of the topic is that some simple don’t want to try, and some just shouldn’t. Divorce is sometimes seen as a cure for a systemic problem, or as a curse upon future generations. Divorce is also seen by some as a way to free them from incessant violence. Children and divorce is another issue that must be resolved. What should be remembered when getting a divorce, when children are involved, is that the child’s needs come before anyone else’s. Some children of divorce grow up just as well, in some cases better, than those of more traditional upbringing. While the divorce rate is indeed alarming, actually looking at specifics for reasons is required, rather than making a rash generalization that marriage is unpopular.